My final post.
Hard for me to do. I found a passion. An inner inspirational outlet to connect with all of you. A somewhat consolation prize for the direction in life I had always dreamed of. Studied the art. Performed the art. Rode the dream wave as long as I possibly could.
A little thing called “life” creeped up. Then some strange other life altering event consumed me. I fell in love. Got married. Started a family.
The days of driving down to NYC auditioning, vehicle towed, booking extra feature rolls in Mariah Carey videos were over. I shit you not. I was casted as a “featured extra” in Mariah’s music video & hit song “Fantasy.” It was filmed at Rye Playland, NY. The contract agreement & monetary compensation was as followed. $75.00. No hourly rate. No SAG eligible rates. I jumped on board. This was my big shot. I sat on a wooden picnic table for 49 hours straight as my ass became infected with splinters. They were nice enough to provide the starving artists with water & some pretzels. Hour 50 arrived. I plucked the wood dowels from my buttocks and I was ready to perform. My role was pretty simple. Strap into the “Dragon Coaster.” Act happy. Hands up. Pretend I was having fun. Easy enough. We road the coaster as Mariah Carey’s hair was blowing off her head and landing in my teeth. I didn’t mind. I was a “Method” actor 😂😂.
Finally our scene came to an end. Some bitch with headphones & a walkie talkie like she was producing “Avatar” approached. She cut my check. After taxes I walked away with $9.00. Honestly I did not care. I was in a fucking music video. Shit was big time.
I’ll never forget the next day in school. I’m bragging. Signing autographs and shit. Making out with cheerleaders in Study Hall.
The video was released a week later. I let everybody know. We gathered at a friends house for the big video premier. Bowls of Doritos & cheese doodles. 12 pack of ice cold Bud Ice. My celebrity debut.
MTV builds up the anticipation. Chicks are giving me hand jobs and such. Video starts. A whole bunch of dancing to open up. Then my big scene had arrived. Everybody was cheering. I was one minute from having to change my Batman underoos. The coaster began rolling. Up. Down. Flying around at a top speed of 67 MPH. I would say a good minute or so went by and I couldn’t find my character. I knew this shit was ending soon. I began to sweat. Coaster came to a screeching halt. The room went silent. People were throwing cheez-itz at me. Booing. The cheerleaders threw my dick in the trash can. I was asked to leave. Ashamed. Disappointed. Embarrassed. The thought of facing my fellow students the following day had haunted me. I couldn’t sleep as I still had one rogue strand of Mariah Carey’s hair wedged between my wisdom teeth.
Woke up the next day. Said “I don’t give a fuck.” I was there. I road the coaster. They cut my ass out. Oh well. There’s always the next video. If you pricks don’t want to talk to me or give me future hand jobs so be it. Call me a fraud. A liar. A wannabe.
I didn’t give a flying fuck.
I’ve lived my life with that attitude & approach ever since. Pursued the dream for 10 years after. Booked some small jobs. Did some theater. Plugged along. Studied performing arts at a NYC college. Well, drank fishbowls full of Vodka at the local watering hole mostly. Occasionally made it to a required class called “Theater Dance.” I show up dressed like “Danny Zucco” as 89 gay men are twirling around in “short shorts”to the greatest hits of “Boy George.” I entered. Did the running man to “wake me up before you go go” for a minute or two and realized “Theater Dance” just wasn’t the career choice I had in mind.
Turned 28. Fell in love. Got married. Had twin boys. Picked up a fucking hammer and haven’t put it down ever since. Well to be honest, I’ve held that hammer since I was 15. Only thing I was really ever good at.
Started a construction company and here I am. It pays the bills.
I was late to the Facebook party. I was always against what it stood for and how it controlled people’s lives. 2015 I cracked. Opened a FB page. Began posting some shit on my mind. Mainly issues within my daily life & surroundings. Discussions always seemed to have a comedic twist. Not that I thought they were humorous. I was simply feeding off the energy & engagements of others who followed my page. Then there was always those individuals who couldn’t understand my humor. Thought I was more idiotic than comedic. Guess what? I didn’t give a fuck then, and don’t give a fuck now. 3200 followers inspired me to continue on the path of humor. 3 sat back creeping my page waiting for my posts to simply say “dude you aren’t funny” hahahahah. “Dude fuck you” This Is not political. Your minority vote is irrelevant.
Didn’t matter. I enjoyed making people laugh. Can’t please them all.
Fast forward to January 2016. I decide to make it official. My blog site “Termine Talks” is born. To be honest, should have named it “Termine Don’t Shut The Fuck Up.”
I write. Write. Keep writing. 150 published post later. Still writing. Can’t stop. Can’t control the inspiration. There is no “kill switch.”
I have been consumed. Addicted to the chuckles and laughter of those who have followed my posts. You have been the inspirational fuel. The reason I write. I appreciate the support immensely. You have no idea how much I’ve enjoyed this.
Perhaps a little too much.
I’m 2 1/2 years in. Writing as often I can. Whenever I can. That being said, I’m emotionally drained. Brain has been in overdrive since day 1. Has not stopped. Can’t stop. It must stop.
Every word, thought & story are my own. Only way I would ever do this. It’s created within. I lay it out each & every post for all of you in hopes it brightens your day. Brings a smile to your face. Perhaps helps you escape a bit and allows you to get lost within my chaotic world for a bit.
My ultimate goal has always been to make people “lol.”
The blog post comments, engagements through social media sites & my favorite of course, the real life personal interaction has given me a sense of self worth. A purpose. A connection to a life long passion of mine. A gateway to expand my mind. Be creative. Make a difference in someone’s life perhaps. Waking up to a DM message from a follower expressing the impact of my writing and how the post helped them through a rough day, week or year. It’s humbling. A main reason I have continued.
Unfortunately, I have burnt out. When I do anything in life, it’s to the max. I don’t hold back and I never give a fuck. Always been like that.
This blog has taken over me. In every aspect of my life. Every facet. Movement. Way of life. Breath of air. Doesn’t matter where I am. Where I go. Who I’m with. Makes no difference. I can create a story. My train of thought has no brakes. No reverse. No neutral. Transmission is slipping.
I don’t write this blog for a living. As a matter of fact, it’s a hobby. I write for entertainment purpose only. Don’t get me wrong, If I was given the opportunity to trade in my hammer for the pen I’d do it any day of the week if it would pay the bills and support my family.
In all honesty, I know a few who have some influence in the world of writing / blogging. Get me in front of a bigger audience and I’ll make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. That’s a promise.
For now the pen is down. Brain is off. You are all now safe.
Need to focus on life and my responsibilities. I truly enjoyed making you all laugh but it has come to an end..
Next time you read any of my material you better fucking believe I have junked the work truck and tools. Complete focus on inspirational thoughts.
Until then, thank you all that have followed my blog & your support. Honestly, would have never even made it this far without you.
Perhaps now I can simply enjoy a party, holiday celebration or a simple trip to the store without creating a story. We shall see!
Brain off. 🤪